Everyone wears masks. It is called “propriety” and “a proper time and place”. It is not appropriate…nor is it safe or healthy…to share everything about ourselves with everyone else, anywhere and anytime. (I cannot say that I am not guilty of doing this.)
Yet, we all do need someone and some time in which we can share the deeper things of our hearts. We need a safe place to land when we are struggling…someone with whom we can take the masks off. We need someone who will accept us and cheer us on in the struggles of life.
It is not that we need to share and reveal everything about ourselves to a single person, especially not all at once. That could overwhelm them…especially if some are extreme abuse survivors, one such as myself. But we do all need someone safe with whom we can share the things that are most on our hearts, the things we most struggle with, our challenges, our joys, our fears, our growth, our victories, the things we have overcome, the positive steps taken, the stumbling we have done. We need someone who will not judge and who will love us as we are and cheer us on in our healing journey.
Sometimes, we cannot share our growth or our victories because it would mean sharing what we needed to have victory over…or sharing what we grew out of. It would mean sharing the darker sides of ourselves. We all have one…a darker side…the part of us we don’t really want anyone to know about. And yet, don’t we all wish that we had someone with whom we could share that darker side who would accept us and even love us anyway?
Not everyone is safe to share with. We must be cautious. We must take care to feel a person out…to not overwhelm them. We also have to recognize that sharing can kick off the old “don’t share” programming. We need to be safe when we share…prepared for the potential aftermath, especially if the one we are sharing with isn’t aware of the possible ramifications sharing can bring.
In all of this…there is a question I ask myself. While I long for someone with whom I can truly take my masks off…am I willing to be that someone for another person? Am I…can I…be safe to share with? Will I accept and love without judgment? Will I hold close to my heart what is shared with me…never sharing it with anyone else without permission? Am I willing to be for others what I need others to be for me?